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I'm not the type that listens in on other people's conversation. But a few days ago I was at the National Library and these 2 people were talking really loudly. You be the judge if I was wrong to have accidentally listened in:

Man: ....If it was me I neber hire anyone if they don't come from NUS want.

Woman: Ya lor. So many foreign graduates now hor.

Man: Maybe we should come up with our own NUS artefact. Like a pendant or something.

Woman: Ya hor. So we can recognise each other. Other university do, why we never do one ha?

Well obviously these two good folks think that they're the most superior beings on the planet. I will not comment on that. For a group of graduates who've experienced only local systems, they sure do fantasise a lot.

But what got me thinking was the “artefact” part. In some Western and Australian universities, we sometimes have what is called the university artefact – usually a ring or pendant. Its usually worn at certain functions like job interviews for affinity purposes.

These artefacts will usually come with strict rules and guidelines of usage, printed on an accompanying artefact card. Can you imagine how the card will look like for NUS graduates? Something like this maybe:

Rules and Regulations On the use of the Artefact of NUS (A.N.U.S.)

1. Treat your ANUS with care. Be proud that you have an ANUS.

2. Keep your ANUS clean at all times.

3. Letting other people touch your ANUS is generally frowned upon.

4. Graduates are encouraged to show their ANUS during job interviews. Studies have shown that chances at finding a job is higher, if the interviewer can see your ANUS.

5. This is especially so if your employer has an ANUS that looks like yours.

6. It has come to our attention that some graduates have been selling their ANUS when they need cash.

7. You are reminded that your ANUS is sacred and should not be sold openly.

No wonder they don't have an artefact. Or any object that starts with the letter “a”. What do they call the Alumni of NUS then?